The BIG "C" Strike

When I was a girl,

you never talked about it. If you had it the last thing you did was admit it...or even mention it above a raspy whisper. You were ashamed of it much the way you'd be afraid to mention having syphilis...or crabs, so it came as a shock when the father of my friend's father...yep...her grandfather allowed us to SEE the effects of

The BIG "C".

When I think back, though, I wonder how they could have kept Mr. Johnson's DIS-ease to themselves. Mr. J. had

skin cancer. It was literally eating his face before our eyes. Short of being sent off to some godforsaken hell hole like they used to do with lepers, how could Mr. J. Have kept his "shame" to himself?

We didn't talk about it. We just buried our heads in the sand and pretended. As long as we never...{gulp}...mentioned its name, we were safe with our heads in the dirt and our asses aimed towards the sky. Right?

Mr. J. died...thank heavens. I can still hear his screams from the pain it caused. Morphine dulled the raggedness of it chewing inch upon inch, layer upon layer of his face. (I have no idea when dilaudin was discovered, but I don't remember overhearing anyone mentioning that and Mr. J's treatment together back then.) Thinking back with the knowledge I have now, I shudder to imagine what the skin beneath the clothes dangling from Mr. J's diminishing frame looked like.

Fast forward. Times change. The Big "C" moved from something you discussed in hushed tones behind your raised hand, to the

MAINSTREAM...in fact it seemed to become almost FASHIONABLE to have, or know someone who HAS cancer by the 1990's...

So being a modern minded gal, my body jumped into the mainstream with glee. Can't say my mind agreed with the body, but there you have it...and of course, I don't do things by halves...I jumped into that BIG "C" sea


CHEMO and RADIATION...to ME they're curse words...because they act upon your body like a curse.

My children

weren't little cherubs I could easily hide things from any more. They were in their teens BUT for the most part I kept from them the horrible side-effects of the destructive combination. I'd wait until they went to school to go for my dose of poison, vomit like it was my avocation the whole time they were gone and only be lying in bed moaning and groaning when they got home. (OH before heading for my deadly cocktail, I'd make certain to pack the fridge with sandwiches for the kids' dinners.)

I DID lose my hair...Not ALL of it, but enough clumps of it the kids KNEW Mom was battling the Big "C". Somehow I made it through that nightmare BOTH times.

Fast forward...Angelina Jolie...There are those who are claiming her choice to go public with her decision to have a double mastectomy to reduce her chances of breast cancer is nothing more than a publicity stunt...and they are the ones I am forced to write this posting because.

I have followed Ms. Jolie's career. When she was married to Billie Bob Thorton and boasted wearing a vial of his blood THAT was a publicity stunt! Having your breasts removed to reduce your risk of having cancer mutate your body's cells is NOT!

Ms. Jolie watched her mother battle the Big "C". She KNOWS the toll the battle demands the body to wage...she does not want her children to have to watch her wage that war.

I sat on the sidelines during the stupid idiocy of the Anniston vs Jolie camps that waged when Brad Pitt first started with Ms. Jolie. That was foolishness on the parts of those with no lives enough to bother ranting about this. HAD the Pitt-Anniston marriage been strong NO ONE could have come in from the side lines and tsunamied them apart. True love cannot be shattered...as

Mr. Pitt is proving now as he steps up to the plate to support Ms. Jolie in her courageous stance to pre-empt

a war against the Big "C".

I despaired for MS. Jolie when she was wearing Billy Bob's blood, but the moment she wrapped her heart and soul around being a mom, she found her true passion. Dedicated moms will do anything to spare their children the agony of watching them battle death.

MS. Jolie has once more proven her grace, maturity, depth of love, her honor, and her true beauty. I pray those who find fault with her willingness to share her journey with the rest of us never have to face the same choices. The Big "C" is a vicious foe, that no one should ever have to go to war against, but a pair of

boobs, a pair of ovaries...some hair...a bit of blood...bile...they're a small price to give up for a C-free future.

Thank you Ms. Jolie.

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THIS

Three plus

years and counting...does that mean Kat and I now have an insider's understanding of this BIG OCEAN we swim in?

March 29th was the actual THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of my

first book contract. (Kat started with another publisher a year and a half before that.)

I've learned a LOT about the process since my Over-The-Moon...Dancing On The Ceiling and Swinging-From-The-Rafters first days..Some of it EXCEPTIONALLY BRILLIANT...

Some of it...

DOG DOO SUCKY!

One of the things I've learned is

cover art is not necessarily UNIQUE any longer.

I can show this by comparing some of my book covers with book covers for other authors also here at Muse It Up Publishing, Inc. and express why some of their covers rock my world better than mine and/or vice versa.

I begin with my all time favorite cover for my new release ECHOES FROM THE PAST done by the billiant Suzannah Safi and showcase it with another Suzannah Safi cover for SLOANE WOLFE

What do you think?




I admit to LOVING the color of blue...but the richer, autumn colors of my cover...they seem warmer to me...still two pretty spectacular representations using the same heroine by Suzannah Safi in a way that allows BOTH covers to shine. 

I would be LYING if I didn't say I LOVE the cover Suzannah created for ECHOES more, but I'm pretty gape-jawed over the feeling of chilling power she also captured in the Sloane Wolf cover for Margay Leah Justice.

Just goes to show if the people who work with Graphics know their stuff they can beautifully create many sides at the altar of their Cover table.

BUT GUESS WHAT...I found ANOTHER Muse It Up Cover by another CA using the same heroine image...this one was done early in the parade of Muse It Up Covers...

...fashioned by Delilah K. Stephens for HIMEROS PRINCESS. I found this cover intriguing, but more about it on something I will elaborate on further into this blog posting.

This heroine seems more coolly calculating in the way she looks out of the cover at us. She seems less likly to burn and sizzle....and the images seem...ghostly...or muted somehow. Am I right?

Still the coloring of MY heroine, in the hues Suzannah gave me show Kira Firebird MY heroine, is a woman of intense emotions with heat radiating out of her dark eyes and a haunted future staring back at her.

Dana Littlejohn, though I must acknowledge yours is the first of our MIU covers I saw my heroine captured on, it is impressive. From the positive feedback I've been getting for my Suzannah Safi Cover and complimenting Book Trailer though, I hope your cover made just as deep an impact on the visual world.

Moving On...Everyone told me what a lucky duck I was to get a Jimmy Thomas cover. I hate to admit this, since I've learned much since then, I had no idea if Jimmy Thomas was a person or a Garbonza bean when everyone was praising me for my coup.

Now I know...but I also know two of our CA's used the same image to create covers and I'm still not sure WHAT-THE-HEY!

My cover, by Delilah K. Stephens is for my story that takes place in the moutains...snow blizzard and all...Maxine's, done by Winterheart Design, I assume takes place in a more HOT and watery climate.

My Jimmy and his lady are muted...but not enough for them to actually be dressed as they seem to be to comfortably be playing in what I know and the reader WILL know is an approaching blizzard...also...for being all excited about having a JT cover...why should I be thrilled about a MUTED Cover God? (I doubt Jimmy spends time asking how he can MUTE his gorgeousness.) 

Maxine's cover leaves JT and his blonde at/near/IN the water and dressed approrpiately.

Another thing...is the white banner across the bottom of my cover supposed to hint at SNOW? To me it seems more like a white veil to hide that JT and the heroine are not really getting it on in the moutains.

Of these two covers, I like the one for RINGS OF PARADISE best. It RINGS true! Am I wrong?

A mountain blizzard...that's where my book's story takes place,. not hugging theocean's crests.

Now the final curiosity connected with Delilah K. Stephens' cover of HIMEROS PRINCESS and the cover she did for Book Two in my Christmas Miracles Series.

I guess I should start with Book One in this series...a BRILLIANT first cover I will always love...

SANTA IS A LADY

The images and blending and yes, even the font Delilah K. Stephens put together for my very first published MIU book spoiled me...can you tell why?

Book Two in this series,

THE CHRISTMAS WAR...Not so good...

and let me explain why...

the hero of MY story has served several terms in Iraq...he's got a PhD. in Law and Theology...he's not a kid any more. He's a black man...and yes, he's a hero type.

Beck, the heroine is rapidly approaching her 35th birthday. She's the owner of her own confection's store, and the best friend of the heroine in SANTA IS A LADY...she's white and has many notches of life on her soul.

In HIMEROS PRINCESS...the hero is black and he's more mature than the image I ended up with for THE CHRISTMAS WAR.

I was told it's difficult to find black heroes...so this is the cover I HAD to accept since I'd gone and made my hero black.

Notice the hero AND the heroine are both little more than KIDS!

If the hero for Himeros Princess was already in Delilah's repertoire, why did she "urge" me to accept an inferior cover based on inablity to find black heroes? Doesn't the Himeros hero look closer to the age of my hero than what my cover ended up with?

And again..this series takes place in

SNOW COUNTRY...does either the hero or heroine look like they're ready for arctic temps?

Most of today's CA do not stand at

easel creating original works of genius. They trawl the graphics sites for the images they paste and blend into genius.

I know once a CA buys an image (s)he has the right to use it over and over for thousands and thousands of times...SO if you want to show yourself as exceptional at what your blending you have to remember what you've done, keep an eye on other covers fashioned by other artists and go for the gold.

No one is going to hit the mark 100% of the time, but the finished cover is not just ONE example of your genuis....it's a conglomerate of your skills...blending color, offering shadow, morphing design, arranging font size, color, etc., etc., etc....In OTHER words...the TECHNICAL as well as the creative makes the difference between a GREAT cover...

And one that

falls short of the mark.

Now that we've come full circle

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The Confusion of Hate?

The Why Of Hate?

Confusion, Sadness, those are emotion that rose within me when I learned of the bombings at the Boston Marathon. What madness drives anyone to destroy the future of so many innocent people and why would anyone be so uncaring about those lives?

I remember how I felt when I saw people jumping to a certain death from the Twin Towers to escape certain death on 9/11. What trigger inside their brains determined leaping to a death smashing into the concrete below would be better than facing the searing destruction of remaining in the building disintegrating around them?

Hate...I fully understand the power of indoctrination.

I was married to a man who spent the entirety of our eleven years together chipping away at my identity, destroying any of my beliefs in who I might think I am because to have any belief in my own worth would mean I might not agree that no one would ever look at me and see someone who possessed any beauty...

...therefore I was so very lucky my husband tolerated me enough to once in a awhile lash me with his bull whip until I bled enough to be lubricated so he could rape me wherever he wanted and give me moments of dubious pleasure.

I should be GRATEFUL his attention tore my flesh beyond repair because at least he gave me love.

Hate...I got away because despite his attempts at brainwashing...somewhere deep inside I knew he was wrong...somewhere deep inside I knew I was me.

I got us out.

Hate...I have justifiable reasons to hate all men. See my ex did not limit his violence against me to just him...oh no...he shared me. I honestly do not know how many he shared me with...so by the rights of the damned I should hate all men...but I have a glorious twist...he also shared me with women...some of the worst pain I endured came from women...women know how to hurt other women better than men do because they know the right spots.

Hate...I should hate EVERYONE! Why don't I.

I've been asked that very question. Why don't I hate all men after what my ex did to me?

My answer is simple. Why should I hate everyone for the deeds of few? Yes a lot did unspeakable things to me...things I will never recover fully from...but in the overall scheme of things, they really are only a few.

I sit here on planet earth one of God's children among many of His children. Yes they are misguided children, and they are in need of God's mercy, but there are others, good, loving, caring children, who are like me, confused by the violence, hurt by the rage, saddened by the misery, and disheartened by YOUNG children... YOUNG CHILDREN being so angry THEY resort to bombing innocent people.

If I do not hate after all I've been through...what could possibly drive children to commit such an act of extreme violence.

My heart bleeds...

The 2nd Amendment, Rape, and Idiocy

I am a rape survivor. I am not against protecting oneself, nor am I against guns, but I am against the concept in this country that we cannot deny the masses their rights to own guns unilaterally.

There are many who can access guns who would never pass the psychological testing minimally needed to set up red flags. I know too many of them. For instance when the government knows, without question someone is psychotic based on their VA disability, why is this person allowed to still play with guns?

In a world where animals do not trawl the woods decked out in body armor, please help me to understand why the average Joe needs to own assault weapons to go hunting?

There are those who argue we need guns to protect ourselves against rape...and as a rape survivor I can appreciate that argument...but I have a better argument...instead of giving Carte Blanche, lets make the sentences fit the crimes.

Rape is the only crime where the victim is guilty till proven innocent...and yet when the perpetrator is found guilty the system is lax in assigning appropriate punishment. Rape is a life sentence to the victim, yet it is nothing more than a slap on the wrist to the perpetrator.

How about we give the police the resources needed to make certain known criminals cannot lay their hands on weapons again? If the parole and criminal systems were given the manpower to enforce the ban against unsavories gaining access to illegal weapons...in the form of follow-ups, then why would we need so many guns in the hands of people who should not have them?

I was raped four days before my 18th birthday. I was a virgin. The judge found my rapist guilty, but because of extenuating circumstances he was given a pass. What extenuating circumstances you might ask...his wife had just given birth and the poor man had gone without sex for such a long time...so how could he be guilty of such a heinous crime as violent rape? And yet he was. (It did not matter that he'd bitten through my lower lip...sorry, but my lip had nothing to do with his need for release down there...BUT...the poor guy had been denied sex while his wife went through the physical upheaval of giving birth to his child.)

He was given a pass...two days later he was trying to rape another young woman. Guns had NOTHING to do with his attempt to rape another young woman, but according to modern politicos if we deny guns to the masses, rapists not stopped by concealed weapons who rape again would only have done so because victim one had not shot him in his gonads the first time around. I had my rapist's gonads by the Scales of Justice only to have those Scales tip because my rapist used his wife's giving birth to justify him raping me. Does that mean we do not need the Scales of Justice these politicos purport to be part of?

I agree with the statement about guns not killing people...people kill people and anyone determined to kill will kill, but if people did not have such easy access to guns, fewer guns would be employed in the act of killing people.

I do not know what the Founding Fathers meant when they fashioned the Bill of Rights and specifically the 2nd Amendment, but neither does anyone else. Without a time machine to carry me back into the minds of the Framers as they were creating the Constitution NONE of us can really know what they were thinking...except they'd just come out of a horrific war where the MILITIA needed to be armed to battle the army sent from Britain to crush their rebellion.

I can imagine after that none of them wanted to risk another such revolution...and since we had the War of 1812 I assume the Founding Fathers enacted the 2nd amendment by once more arming the masses to battle the invasion.

But...now here's a question for all of you gun aficionados today...do you think the Framers would have wanted women to have guns? They made NO reference at all to women doing so...so if we are to adhere to the letter of the Constitution as created/written by the Framers, women are NOT protected by the 2nd Amendment concerning guns...so all arguments about women protecting themselves against rapists by having guns is against the design of the Constitution.

Need I remind today's women, the women who fought to get us the same rights as men were incarcerated, beaten and in some cases brought to death to give us the rights the Framers everybody applauds so loudly, did not!

I am a rape survivor. I brought my rapist before the court system. A MALE judge let him go because the poor dear hadn't had sex in several weeks, even though he declared my rapist guilty...only to have my rapist trying to rape another woman two days later.

I love my country so much I want to see those charged with enforcing the laws have the resources to do so, but why would they have to defend us against criminals with weapons they should not have access to?...Our political system is too busy worrying about the gold lining the pockets of the gun makers and sellers and not the police needed to really protect the masses. Let's put our justice where it really belongs.

THE GAG IS OFF...AGAIN!

There's so much happening in the world right now for this intrepid

Ladybug Lin to let loose about...but I must be circumspect...so here goes.

My first

RANT comes about because

Kat, my delightful daughter, started huffing and a puffing when she read the retired pope...you know...good old

Benny...is going to be getting...are you ready for this...$250,000 a month, a fully furnished home he NEVER has to pay ANYTHING to maintain...and too many more perks to enumerate...(the gullible followers of the Apostle Peter will have to pay for..and what is with

kissing that frigging ring? That's something KINGS require...not religious leaders...at least not religious leaders who don't think of themselves as kings...but reflecting on history...what pope ever acted like he wasn't sitting upon a

kingly throne?)...But I digress...

$250,000 a month...who the FRAG needs that kind of money...and what happened with the

VOW OF POVERTY? Boy am I glad I am a RECOVERING Catholic and do not tithe to this. Once upon a time, and for a brief time Kat worked for the Diocese near us when we lived in NJ as a secretary. Her insides did a complete regurgitation when she got the memo she was to type and send to the parishioners. The head honcho in that CELL of this faith was retiring...somebody decided for a retirement gift they were going to send this honcho...who BTW...was driving a NEW black Lincoln Continental...on a cruise to Alaska..so she typed a command that said...EVERY PARISHIONER MUST DONATE NO LESS THAN $50.00 PER PERSON TO THE RETIREMENT CRUISE OF "BISHOP RICHIE RICH" OR BE EXCOMMUNICATED!

Again...where"s the vow of
?
 I happen to know where it is...with the nuns...

ever see a nun retiring to what is virtually a MANSION?

Again...boy am I glad I'm a RECOVERING Catholic!

MOVING ON...God I have so much to say...


Campaign reform...I've never understood why things are so out of control...It would be so easy to get graft out of the election process...How?...Well, the government controls the media. They could COMMAND that "x" number of hours be delegated to candidates...and ONLY "x" number.

I am sick to DEATH of being bombarded by the constant parade of commercials by candidates; with the most coming from whoever swindled the most contributions for his/her war-chest. If the government made it mandatory that the stations, ALL the stations...even FOX, TV and radio aired the "x" number of promotions and ONLY those "x" numbers...it'd cut down on the need to attend dinners where it's like

$500-1000.00 a plate just so you can brag about hobnobbing with the candidate..or for candidates to SELL their candidacies to the highest bidders.

Also the government has it's own

printing department...look at the tons of paperwork coming out of their publication department for every proposed bill with all its inflated pork and you can't refute they have their own publication department.

My idea about this? The government allows "X" numbers of pamphlets to be printed on THEIR press, and no more is allowed from ANY other source...violators will be prosecuted!

I don't know about you, but I HATE getting pamphlets for months that say the same things from the same blithering candidate. If you MUST cram my mailbox, wait until the week before the election. Don't make me cart your propaganda for two solid years to the recycle paper bin.

My legs don't like that!

What else...ahhh clothing...the candidates get a stipend and no more is allowed...It's not criminal to be seen wearing the

same clothes while campaigning. Actually seeing you in the same clothes makes you more human.

My final rant has to do with

Seth McFarlane and his hosting the Oscars last Sunday...I don't know whose idea it was to hire him, but WHAT THE FRAG! First of all...WHO THE FRAG IS HE? I didn't know his name. When I heard his name and that he was hosting I turned to Kat and asked, "WHO THE {Hockey Stick} is he?" She shrugged and said "DON'T ASK ME, MOM."

I remember when Bob Hope hosted the Oscars...many years in a row and gave us some really GREAT moments. Bob,
http://youtu.be/nKgUq5dziEk
thanks for the memories.

I remember

Billy Crystal,

Whoopi Goldberg,

Eddie Murphy,

Hugh Jackman, and if my memory is not sailing on a sea of forgetfulness, didn't


Johnny Carson also host? They had recognizable names...so again WHO THE FRAG IS

SETH MC FARLANE, AND WHY DID THE ACADEMY HIRE A MISOGYNIST? Anyone who listened to Seth sing, tell jokes, and lift his dubiously expressive brow could not come away not KNOWING he's a HATER!

I don't usually watch the Oscars...I gave last year's a miss because nothing and no one nominated mattered to me...Last Sunday I watched because

Les Miserables...I love Hugh Jackman...

Argo...Ben Afleck has grown as a man, an artist, and now a director so much since his Bennifer days, and Lincoln...I'm a history buff...

Daniel Day Lewis and Sally Field were brilliant as Lincoln and his wife, Mary Todd Lincoln. All these amazing films and actors were nominated for many awards...so I watched.

I was ROYALLY disappointed...and ticked off! McFarlane warbled about seeing actresses naked...but each one he warbled about was shown naked because her character was being RAPED! McFarland didn't mention that...which makes ME wonder if he's a fan of the

who spent much of the past year poo-pooing crimes against women.

I don't turn on the Oscars expecting to be slammed by the same level of HATE I get every day from a certain group of politicians I hope do not get re-elected their next time around.

This country SHOULD have come farther than this..and award shows should be hosted by someone we recognize and will enjoy. I hope the selection committee wises up.

And that concludes my

MOUTHING OFF for today...but who knows what tomorrow will bring...