I never thought the
Day of Ignominy would come, again...and yet it's here.
Truth be told it's been here since December 13th when I woke up and found I
Nope...not total truth...I've had periods in the past when the spine just went on vacation leaving a boatload of pain behind, but never for this long.
Here it is August and I haven't been a day without some level of pain...usually moderate, but never less than that.
Growing old is definitely not for the weak of constitution.
I was telling a friend the other day that I think the
constant pain in my spine from the discs and everywhere else from the RA starting to make me physically feel nauseous...which plugged in a
light in my feeble brain...
Everyone is trying to get me to down anti-depressants...(have you heard the side-effects of these drugs? One is increased interest in committing suicide? How does that help LIFT me from my depressed state? Well I guess it WOULD permanent remove me from being depressed...wouldn't it?)
Back to topic...my recent doctor, the first to actually
LOOK AT the multitude of MRIs, CT scans and X-Rays done on my person before blowing gobbledy
smoke out his mouth, said I have a LOT wrong with my back...the spine being only one area, and he'd be surprised if I WASN'T a hurting puppy suffering a LOT of
depression from the high level of pain.
WOW someone who isn't trying to turn me into a blithering, head-banging
Age...it's a pitiful place to find yourself after a lifetime of trying to rise above the pain and always stand upright.
Will I succeed?
The last time I had to bite down on the bullet and force myself to get through the pain I was thirty one...thirty...yessiree...
thirty years ago. Do I have the stamina to trudge through another thirty years?
Age is not for the weak...but am I strong enough to do this